it was the ocean. the ocean. theoceantheoceantheocean. i told myself time and again. ocean, ocean, ocean. that meant water. i tried to make myself see water. waterwaterwater. but the more i stared the redder it became. red. dark, dark red. redredred. red was my favorite color. red was the color of blood. yes, blood. bloodbloodblood. red was the color of daddy’s scars. i liked those scars, i liked that smile. mommy’s too. red was perfect. blood was perfect. and this sea of blood was perfect. bloodbloodblood. i wasn’t willing myself to see water any more; i didn’t care. the blood was perfect; water was boring. i didn’t need to see water to know it was boring. blood, it was, well, it was exciting. interesting. it was perfect. and it was all over now. oh if i could walk right into that blood, let it soak into my fur, let it color my white eye patches red. red like blood. blood red. prefect, perfect red. i wouldn’t need scars like daddy’s then. i could have my own slice of perfect without them. my own unique perfect. my paws were moving before i could finish the thought. crow! the voice was loud, like someone had put a speaker next to my ears. and it hurt; hurt like claws raking my ears. i whimpered; i wanted it to stop. i couldn’t ignore it. pain, pain i could live with. pain of the body. but, but this, this pain, it, i couldn’t think straight, i couldn’t ignore it. my paws stopped moving. i had to. hadtohadtohadto. where are you going? it was angry. i didn’t want it angry. why couldn’t he smile? daddy always smiled. why couldn’t he be like daddy? but he wasn’t daddy; and daddy was one of a kind. mommy too. no one else like them. not even him. but he was important too. he was unique too. but he wasn’t perfect.

i—i wanted to, to, to get closer to the blood. i had to answer, had to face him and answer. he glared at me. you don’t always get what you want. stay away from there; i’ve told you before. i can’t make him angrier. can’tcan’tcan’t. i won’t. so i come back. i must have looked pathetic. he sighed, softened. look, the ocean’s dangerous. it’s for your safety. he worried too much. daddy didn’t worry. neither did mommy. i liked them better. but i had to listen to him. had to. so i denied the blood. the perfect, perfect blood. for him. he started walking; i had to follow. always follow. where are we going, bruce? i ask. i’m curious. i want to know. but i know he won’t tell me. you’ll find out when we get there. it’s always the same. always. i don’t like that answer. it’s boring now. but it’s his only answer. finally he flicks his tail towards something ahead. i turn my head to look with my good eye, away from the blood (the perfect, perfect blood) and see what he sees. look, i found you someone to play with. now run along, go play. i’ll be right here, and i’ll tell you when we need to go back. i’m smiling now; someone fun, more fun than him. thanks bruce! i yip and start bounding towards the other dog. i was stopped short when i really saw her, though. she was red. redredred. beautiful because she was red. she’d been in the blood. why couldn’t i go in the blood? i’d look better if i were red like her. but i knew i couldn’t. so i’d play with her; maybe i could get some of that blood from her. you-you’re, uh, you’re really pretty. d’ya wanna play with me?

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you run in the dark scarecrow
through a firefight whoo, first post with him and i love him already XD by the way, we don’t have anything for aging of pups yet, so i’m making him a year old for this. –sigh- a year old and already crazier than his dad, rofl.
lyrics © yellowcard

daddy told me how he got his scars. he said it was a secret. a special, special secret. something mommy didn’t even know. something i couldn’t ever tell. a secret, just for me. i liked that thought; that i shared something special with him. i was his only son; i ought to have something. so i kept it. but it was so hard. so, so, so hard. i liked that story. i wanted to tell it. tell it to bruce. tell it to ivy. tell it to mommy or anyone else. but it was our little secret. but i wanted to live like daddy. i wanted to be brave like daddy. he told me he used to play a game with his family. i wanted to play that now. i didn’t think i’d look good with scars, but everyone else, everyone else looked better with them. but if i couldn’t see my own, then why should i have them? but i wanted to play that game now; this other dog. she was (redredred) so beautiful. but i could make her prettier. i could. i knew i could. icouldicouldicould. bruce would agree. i knew he would. but he was waiting further off. i couldn’t talk to him now. he said never talk to him when anyone but ivy was around. but he’d agree later. he would. so i could make her more pretty. daddy had done it to mommy. made her more pretty. i could be just like daddy. everyone looked better when they smiled. but daddy couldn’t make everyone smile by himself. i wanted to help him. he needed my help; he’d let me help. wouldn’t he? he’d have to. right? rightrightright. he would. and then we could make everyone red. perfectly, prettily red.

but i wasn’t a weirdo. i wasn’t. i’m not, i’m not, i’m not. daddy wasn’t crazy. mommy wasn’t crazy. so i wasn’t crazy. i was me. bruce said so. just me. not weird. she was weird; she was. she was red (redredred) wasn’t that weird? why would she call me weird? i wanted bruce to tell me she was wrong, but he wasn’t here. but she was wrong. she was. wrongwrongwrong. but she wanted to play. she couldn’t be all bad. maybe weird was good. daddy liked the weird ones, the crazies; they helped him. she could help me. she could play, and i could take some of that blood (bloodbloodblood) and paint my eyes red. red like daddy’s smile. redredred. i didn’t bend like her, though, nononono. we didn’t crouch when we played. maybe she didn’t understand. could i make her? could i teach her. i had to. i wanted to play. she’d have to learn. she would. i knew she would. because i could teach her. could. would. my-my daddy, he, well, he told me about this really fun game. he says you play like this: we take turns, and we come up with the most painful thing we can think of, and-and if you can’t come up with anything, then, you-you have to do what was last said. daddy says it’s really fun. he says he used to play it all the time. i was talking faster, excited. i wanted to play with someone new; my sisters were too good, and we ran out of things. but, but with her, i-i could reuse my old ones. i’d win for sure. and-and i knew she’d look better after it. she was already red (redredred) but i wanted everyone to see her blood. she’d be prettier. you go first.

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you run in the dark scarecrow
through a firefight -sigh- ace is a bad influence on this kid, i tell ya’. Rofl.
lyrics © yellowcard

i-i wanted her to understand. i did. i really did. i really wanted her to understand. because it’d be so much fun if she did, i knew it would. but would she? could she even understand? the-the other pups, i didn’t think they would understand. they were… normal. void of personality, of uniqueness. normal and so very, very boring. they’d never understand. nevernevernever. but she was older. and she wasn’t normal. she was red (perfectly, perfectly red). didn’t that mean she’d have to understand? of course it did. it had to, because i wanted it to. bruce might say i couldn’t get what i wanted all the time, but i was right this time, i knew i was, because i wanted this so badly, i had to be. she’d understand, she would. and then we could play. and it’d be so very, very fun. and she’d be even more red (redredred). this game was fun. itwasitwasitwas. she just had to see that it was. but i was worried; she was hesitating. i wished i could just…break open that pretty skull of hers, just to see what she was thinking. it worked that way, didn’t it? thoughts were in the head, so if you opened the head, you could see them, right? i wanted to see hers. because i didn’t know what she was thinking, and it bothered me, because i just wanted her to understand. but i didn’t have to break her head open; she understood! shedidshedidshedid! i kneaded the sand with my paws excitedly, smiling widely; this was going to be so much fun. and i could paint her red (redredred) and paint me red (perfectly, perfectly red) when we were done. and we’d both be so happy. she’d have fun, i knew she would; how could she not? she understood, that meant she’d have fun. i was right, i was i was iwasiwasiwas.

but why didn’t she want to go first? it was fun to start. it was. but maybe she didn’t understand. maybe she needed to be shown how it worked. i wished ivy was here to help me show her. but no, then ivy would win. i wanted to win. so i’d show her myself. and i’d win; i knew i would. and bruce would be proud. he would, i knew he would. and i could be happy. so i would start. i didn’t mind. i would start and i would show her and then we could have so much fun. ok! i agreed easily, then sat down, trying to contain my excitement while i picked my first statement. it had to be good; really really good. but it couldn’t be too good; i had to start easy, or she’d never be able to top it. it wouldn’t be fun if i won on the first statement. so i had to start easy. i looked around, watching the blood (bloodbloodblood) as it rolled in waves onto the beach. there! that was it! ok, i say, getting thrown on the rocks by the ocean. by a great big wave. like that one! the last was said louder, more excitedly, as i watched a great big wall of blood crash onto the beach, turning the sand perfectly, prettily red. it was beautiful. beautifulbeautifulbeautiful. i wanted to go play in the blood like before, but i was having fun here, too. and i knew bruce would be angry. so i’d keep playing. he liked when i played. i tore my eyes from the blood (the perfectly pretty red blood) and looked back her. ok, so what do you say?

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you run in the dark scarecrow
through a firefight he just gets more and more fun xD
lyrics © yellowcard

this was fun already, it was; she was unique, she was interesting. i knew she would be. she was red (redredred) so i knew she’d be interesting. and she was so vivid! my sisters got vivid, and she reminded me of them. bruce had picked me someone fun to play with. i would have to thank him later. i would. but later, laterlaterlater, because now i was busy. now i had to play; wanted to play. she’d been vivid, so i would, too. and i could be vivid. but just what to be vivid about? my sisters and i, we never continued the same track. it wasn’t fun enough. we jumped from pain to pain, every statement a new way to be hurt. it made it fun, interesting, and not boring at all. so the ocean track was done. maybe i’d use it again; it was so perfectly red with it’s pretty, pretty blood. but my statement couldn’t be the ocean; it had to be something new, something interesting, something fun.

but cuts and rocks and birds was so very, very fun. i let my mind form the picture, watching her face as the pain seeped into her, as the blood (bloodbloodblood) dripped from the gash, painting her even more red (perfectly, prettily red). as, in her pain-fueled insanity, she threw herself from a cliff, trying to make it stop. but it wasn’t enough, and i watched her struggle on the rocks below, the birds picking greedily at her. it was a beautiful, beautiful sight. i wished i could see it for real, but i knew i couldn’t; if i did win, she’d have to do what she had said, not what i said. but maybe i should change the rules. i would, next time. it’d be more fun. would fear limit her, if she knew she had to deal with whatever she said? i’d definitely win, then. but next time, next time. now i had to beat her my way; i had to be vivid, had to come up with an image just as beautiful as hers, and hope she couldn’t beat it, just so i could see it come true. uh-uh, i, well, i say that, hmm, getting your legs, all of them, broken while in the middle of a street, and then, then, having to try and crawl out of the street, but still getting hit by a-a motorcycle, but it wouldn’t be enough to kill you, and you’d still have to get out of the street before you got hit again.

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how it ends tonight unfinished
you run in the dark scarecrow
through a firefight meh, short, but i just woke up xD
lyrics © yellowcard