☺|send a heartbeat to thu-thump, thu-thump, thu-thump. her heart is pounding ninety-to-nothing. she stalks up, all shifty eyes and nervous energy, her heart pumping away with all that fear she’s trying to hide. i can practically hear the mantra—i can do this, i can do this, icandothis icandothis icandothisicandothisicandothis. just, uh, just, kee-p, telling yourself that, girl-y. she takes a look around, tries to assure herself she’s alone, goes to work on the lock, doesn’t know i’m watching. don’t, uh, don’t, mind, me, hmm? hah, don’t worry, i, uh, i won’t, tell on you. i, heh, i might not, uh, know what i, will do with you, but, uh, but i’m no-t gonna, uh, tell on you. she’s cursing under her breath; i can hear it. haha, ahah, should’ve prac-ticed. she rattles the lock, like she’s going to just, uh, tear it off the door, with, y’know, with all that, hah, superhuman strength that people, ah, are so sure exists. she throws it back against the door; her cursing is louder. she tries again. there, see, just, uh, just, kee-p trying, and, hah, and i’m sure you’ll ge-t it. she slams the lock against the door again with an extra loud curse; ah-ta-ta, you, uh, you don’t want to, hah, to let any, kids hear, do you? such, hehe, such a, ba-d influence. she leaves her pick shoved in the lock and drops to her knees, sliding down the door, like the frustration is, ah, too much for her to keep standing. she’s, uh, giving up. now, ah, now that, see, that’s no way to live, giving up at, uh, the firs-t bump. maybe, maybe you need some, ah, help.

☺|the void that cries through you but, uh, but i’m, no-t, watching some, uh, pretty-little-thing-turned-failed-criminal; not, uh, not anymore. i’m watching, uh, just, look, see, i’m watching some pretty-little-thing-turned-hunter. but, uh, but, see, the similarities, they, they’re jus-t so, uh, obvious, that i can’t help but remember, uh, miss failed criminal, back in the big city. but, uh, but miss hunter here, she’s leaving now, so i can’t, i can’t keep, uh, keep remembering; i gotta, i’ve got to follow; i want to. because, uh, because, well, she’s, hee, she’s, fun. or she will be. once, uh, once she realizes that, uh, that she’s no-t, a hunter; that, uh, that she’s the hunted. because, uh, because, like that squirrel, she, well, she’s missing the bigger, uh, picture. she jus-t sees food. like mob dealers and money; it’s all they care about. so, uh, so that, it’s gotta stop; she, well, she’s gotta see, more. and, uh, and i’m gonna’, i’m going to, show her, more.

☺|relive the pictures that have come to pass see, i’ve, uh, i’ve go-t, this, talent, for, uh, for going unnoticed. people, see, people, they, they jus-t, they don’t see me, or, hah, or maybe, maybe they jus-t don’t wan-t to. maybe it’s the scars. is it the scars? do you think so? are they that bad? haha, ahah, oh, hee, hee, hah. maybe, uh, maybe it is, but, see, people, they don’t, uh, they don’t see me, until, uh, until i tell them to. i’m always having to tell people to, uh, to look at me. they just, uh, don’t do it on their own. so i’m not, i’m no-t really, uh, worried that, hehe, miss, hunter, here, will, uh, see me. and, hah, and if, she, uh, does, all the better. i don’t, see, i don’t let the firs-t bump slow me down. so i follow her, but, uh, but that, it doesn’t last long; following, see, it’s not all that, uh, fun. and i want, i want some fun. so, see, i make sure that, uh, that she notices me; i speed up, overtake her, intercept her; she, uh, she’s going to see me now. well, hah, just, uh, just, look-y what i found here. didn’t, hah, didn’t you know, that, ah, that it’s, no-t, uh, safe, for a, pu-p, to be alone, hmm?

☺|you’re always on display: 654
☺|for everyone to watch and learn from: finished
☺|don’t you know by now? you can’t turn back: witzeln
☺|because this road is all you’ll ever have: meh, not really happy with this, but oh well; it works xD and the pretty new header definately helps now I've got it up XD
☺|lyrics © paramore, smashing pumpkins

☺|for now we stand alone she stares at the door, i walk forward, she mutters a curse, i clear my throat, she jumps, i smirk. why, dear-y, did, hah, did i, scare you? she’s on her feet, glaring, tense, like an animal backed into a corner; i can see it in her eyes: come any closer and you’ll be sorry. but, hah, ah-ta-ta, girl-y, you, uh, you don’t, you don’t have the, uh, the righ-t, to be making threats, not, uh, no-t without a weapon. what do you want? she barks the words, just another part of the animal-in-a-corner image that’s, just, so, fit-ting. i laugh, a quiet cackle; she tries to back up, is blocked by the door. do, uh, do i, have to wan-t something, hmm? she’s not convinced; well, my, my, you, uh, you’re not the quickest one, are you? slow to pick a lock, slow to notice you’re being followed, slow to understand, and slow to trust. just, uh, just a, slow person. what? the word’s a growl; ah-ta-ta, anger and fear, that, uh, that’s a ba-d com-bi-na-tion, girl-y. look, listen, you, uh, you assume that, see, that, just ‘cause i’m, uh, here, it means that, that i mus-t want something. now, uh, just how do you know that’s true, hmm? maybe, see, maybe i do, uh, wan-t something, but, well, what if i don’t? you, uh, you wanna’ know, what i used to get told? i don’t wait for an answer; she’s not going to, anyway. see, if, uh, if you, ass-ume, then, you become an ass; see how it works? so, uh, so you, shouldn’t, assume. i pause, look her over. i smile, she cringes. it, uh, it’s no-t, real, becoming of, a, ah, youn-g lady.

☺|the world is lost and blown now, ah, now, y’see, and, uh, just, just, go with me, here, you see, these, uh, youn-g ladies, all these, uh, pretty little things, they just, see, they just, don’t, know, their, uh, place. now, uh, don’t, see, don’t get me, uh, wrong; i don’t mind a, uh, a strong woman; no-t one bi-t. after, hah, after all, i’ve got, uh, harley, see. but, uh, there, see, there’s the thing. harley, she, uh, she keeps up. but, uh, but these, others, they, y’see, they, act strong, but, uh, but they, can’t keep up. they just, they don’t, ge-t, it. they need, uh, to realize, that the, uh, the act, it just, it won’t cut it. it won’t get them anywhere. harley, y’see, harl, she doesn’t, uh, she’s no-t, acting; that, see, that’s why i kee-p her around. but, ah, but these, others? it’s all fake; open ‘em up and you find a coward; hold, uh, hold a, knife to their face, they crumble. harley, hah, see, she, uh, she, asked for the knife; she wouldn’t, uh, wouldn’t crumble, because, uh, because she’s, no-t, a coward. but, uh, but these others; they are. and, uh, and they nee-d to learn their place.

☺|and we are flesh and blood disintegrate starting, hah, starting with, uh, this little girl-y. little, uh, little miss, hunter. looks, uh, looks like she can’t, she just, can’t decide between, ah, anger and fear; ba-d combination, that, but, uh, that’s no-t the poin-t. see, the, uh, the poin-t is, that, uh, that i know, i know, which will, uh, win in the end. because, because she’s, like the others, just, a, coward. but, ah, bu-t, here’s the thing; even, uh, even if i, know, the outcome, nothing, y’see, nothing beats, seeing it. so, uh, so even though i know that, uh, that fear will win, i’m gonna’, see, i’m going to, uh, push her there, anyways. because, see, because it’s just, so, much, fun. speaking of fun, you know what else is fun? do you? do you know? her. not, uh, no-t, just, her, but, uh, but what she’s, hah, saying. did, uh, did you hear that, what she just said? were you listening? because, hah, because, i was. and now i’m laughing, because, ah, because that, it was just a joke; had to be. haha, hah, hah, oh, hee, hee, ahah, hah…hah. i run my tongue across my lips, moistening the scars, punctuating the laugh; pick any reason. that, ah, that was a good one. but, see, d’you know the thing, girl-y? i, y’see, i think that, ah, that you’re wrong. but, uh, but, enough, abou-t, that. i pause, run my tongue across the scars again, look her over, consider ignoring her question, decide it’ll be more fun not to. who am i? well, hah, how, uh, how good of you, to care. the name’s ace, even, uh, even a pu-p should be able to, uh, remember that. so, uh, so what was your name, hmm? i don’t, uh, i don’t thin-k i caught it.

☺|you’re always on display: 788
☺|for everyone to watch and learn from: finished
☺|don’t you know by now? you can’t turn back: witzeln
☺|because this road is all you’ll ever have: whoo, got a bit better on this one xD
☺|lyrics © paramour, smashing pumpkins

☺|is it bright where you are? she glares, her mouth working, like she’s trying to talk, but just, can’t, ge-t the words ou-t. i wait; don’t, uh, don’t worry, girl-y, i’m, hah, i’m a patient man; i can, uh, i can wait. but, y’see, you’re just, uh, proving my theory, that you’re a slow person. but don’t worry, hah, go ahead and, uh, and take your time. because, see, i just, uh, i haven’t, really, decided what to, ah, do with you. so, so just take your time; i’m, ah, i’m in no rush. i don’t care if you want something or not; just mind your own business and get out of here. she settles on at last, throwing the words at me like their meant to chase me away. i laugh, loud, uproarious; she cringes, runs into the door again; no escape that way, dear-y. look, that, see, that wasn’t, uh, very, polite; it wasn’t. but, see, i’m, hah, i’m in a, uh, a forgiving mood, so, i’m going to, uh, to let that slide. but, see, i, listen, i, am, minding my own, ah, business. because, see, that, ah, that, door there? do you, uh, do you know, just, ah, just what you’re trying to, hah, break in to? i stop, wait; this time, see, i want, her to answer, i do. she seems to realize this, stiffens; i see her thinking, searching for an answer. take, hah, take your, time, girl-y. just some guy’s apartment. she says at last. hah. just, some, guy… i mutter, slowly, softly. not, no-t, just, some, guy. that, y’see, that, apartment? that apartment, ah, that apartment, it’s, my apartment.

☺|have the people changed? no corners, no walls, no door to block an escape, just me and her and a whole bunch of trees, but even without the corner, that blocked-in feeling of a dark city alley, she’s acting like a wild animal backed into a corner and poked with a stick. all tense muscles and standing-on-end fur. but, hah, but, did you know, girl-y, that, uh, that you, you’re not really big enough, for all this, for any of it to, ah, to be, intimidating. so, uh, so you, see, you’re not really, hah, worrying me; so, girl-y, why don’t you, ah, drop the ac-t, hmm? because, see, it, ah, it’s just, wasting your energy. and, uh, really, it’s not all that entertaining, your, uh, act, it’s no-t real, uh, fun. so, just, uh, dro-p the ac-t, hmm? i want, i want you to drop the act, to, to just, uh, just, don’t ac-t, like them, like you, uh, like you, think, you’re supposed to act. you know, you know, that, uh, that, things, they’re easier, if, uh, if you just, do, things; don’t, uh, don’t thin-k, about them, about being, uh, civilized. if, uh, if you don’t, ac-t, like them. so, just, uh, just, sto-p, acting.

☺|does it make you happy you’re so strange? she glares, i smile; it’s the same story with a new player in a new setting, but, uh, but it never, really, changes. so, i know, i know, her par-t, in the ac-t; all that remains, hah, is, uh, mine. because, see, i don’t, uh, ac-t; i just, uh, i just, do. and, uh, and, see, i don’t, uh, i don’t, really, know where to, uh, go with this. so, see, you’re just, uh, going to have to wai-t and, see, just, uh, just wha-t happens. plans, y’see, plans, they’re, hah, they’re, overrated. so, uh, so we’ll, just, see, where this goes, hmm? but, see, it’s be, so, much, more, fun, if, uh, if she’d be just, uh, as unpredictable. but that, see, i guess, that, uh, that’d be too much to ask of a, uh, pu-p. i run my tongue against my lips again as she speaks, my head tilting; now, uh, now wha-t happened to, hah, respec-t your elders, hmm? now, uh, now, see, that, it wasn’t, that wasn’t really, ah, poli-te. who, ah, whoever, taugh-t, you, didn’t, see, they didn’t do a, ah, a real, goo-d, job, because, see, they missed, uh, teaching you, to, uh, respec-t, your elders. but, ah, but that’s alright; see, i’ll, le-t, that slide, this time. but, ah, but, you, ough-t, to work, on that. i pause, lick my scars again, seeing and discarding options, settle on one, and continue, now, maybe, ah, maybe you’d like to, ah, try that again, hmm?

☺|you’re always on display: 725
☺|for everyone to watch and learn from: finished
☺|don’t you know by now? you can’t turn back: witzeln
☺|because this road is all you’ll ever have: bleh, not great, but it’s still early and my muse ain’t awake XD
☺|lyrics © paramour, smashing pumpkins